Day 51

Quick Update: Baby girl turned 24 weeks on Friday! Yeah! It is so amazing to feel her kick and squirm now everyday.  For the first time in weeks, I feel full of energy… thanks to my first of two steroid shots this week – the second comes tomorrow. We’ll see how great they are when I am trying to sleep tonight - arg.

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Getting the shots was a pretty difficult decision. Although I appear to have sealed over (unexplainable miracle) and my amniotic fluid levels are in the normal range (another miracle), the lack of fluid for an extended period of time “probably” put the baby behind in lung development, so in a “typical” pPROM patient the steroids are given at 24 and between 28-30 weeks. But with any intervention there are risks.

There are four doctors who consult regularly on my case and guess what…they didn’t agree on the treatment, leaving Brian and I to weigh our options and then pray we make the right decision. A new friend remarked this is why they call it “practicing medicine.”

Brian’s mother continues to struggle with a serious infection and has been in the hospital for more than 40 days, unable to rid her body of a bacterial infection that is resistant to most antibiotics. As of this weekend, she is on the last two possible antibiotics – so we are praying that one of these works to fight the infection.

The support Brian and I have received and continue to receive through this time has been nothing short of AMAZING – from meals and books to phone calls and visits from friends. Then, of course, are all the new friends we have encountered. People who have walked a similar road before us and are willing to be a resource and listening ear for us now.

One a day I was feeling particularly low struggling with all the changes an uncertainty in our lives, when I received a call from one of these new friends reminding me that God taught us to pray for Daily Bread…not weekly, yearly or five-year plan bread…an difficult concept for a type A gal! She’d been there…she got it.

When I found myself struggling to plan for our baby girl, a new friend dropped me a note reminding me that God promises in Mark 11:24 "Whatever things you desire, when you pray, BELIEVE that you receive them and you SHALL have them." And so Brian and I have begun again to take new steps of faith and make plans for the nursery, as we continue to pray and believe that despite everything, Baby Girl will join us here at home.

I feel like God is teaching both Brian and I so much through this whole experience. I truly believe the lessons we are learning in humility (I’m pausing here for my friends to stop laughing) and dependence on God are so necessary in our journey to parenthood. Although immensely challenging at times, I feel grateful for this time God has provided for us to mature our faith, reevaluate our priorities and strengthen our relationship before Baby Girl arrives, so I choose to praise Him in the storm.

While I still always know the doctors prognosis, I rarely feel discouraged. Now that I feel her kicking and squirming, I CHOOSE to believe that God's healing hand will remain on her and that he will continue providing for all our needs as a family day-by-day.

We are so grateful to be surrounded by the love of our Father, family, friends, and strangers. Thank you all for your continued prayers.