Day 42

Dear friends,

Thanks so much for all the prayers and encouragement. There’s not much new to share in the way of developments.

After receiving the positive news on Tuesday, Brian and I were over the moon. We know there is still a long way to go and things could very well change, but right now we have a lot to be thankful for.

As the week wore on the reality of our situation once again set in. Today, I’ve been in bed for 6 weeks and the doctors are hoping I don’t go into active labor until after week 34, which is another 11 weeks away. And then we won’t have even started with baby girl.

17 weeks of bed rest! My favorite place in the world has always been my bed, but I never dreamed I’d be banished here for months on end. I can no longer go to the job I love or out on a date with my husband. I cannot cook a meal or take my dogs for a walk. My life has literally stopped, and yet everything goes on without me.

In my darkest moments, when I contemplate how my perfectly ordered life has slipped through my grasp, I feel as if I am slowly dying. All the daily activities that defined my existence are gone and I feel completely lost.

And then my Father gently reminds me that this too has a purpose as I read in Matthew these words, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

Right now, we have only experienced the first part of this promise. Our faith in God’s supreme sovereignty placed Brian and I in the midst of a situation where everything we know has been compromised – our careers, our finances, our home, our friendships, our social lives, our family relationships – just to name a few.

So just as we wait on the future of our Baby Girl, we also wait on God to reveal a new life for us again.